When the morning has forgotten to come remember that joy still comes.

What do you do in the tunnel? In the gallows of “what if”? In this limbo of what is going to happen?

 

I curtain most days in day dreams, the mundane fades to background noise as my mind morphs into a machine of possibilities. I have always been a dreamer, whether it’s how I escape or how I create. Still reality is an alarm clock with no snooze. My father’s face is often the alarm that brings me back to this surreal reality.

 See I want him well. He is yet to arm in arm pass me to the love of my life . . .  and I can’t give him a time frame can’t give him name. He is still to hold my children in arms but I have no grand children to give him, no swollen stomach to offer his feeble hands to feel. There are books written in my own hand he is yet read.  

So what do you do? It’s one thing to be haunted by your past but even the future can paralyze you. Thankfully every morning I am offered new mercies and grace that gets me trough the day. Most nights I don’t even know what took that place that day but I made it through many days. I am learning to fight for joy even in the most distressful situations. Constantly counting blessings and giving thanks is food for a joyful mind.

 

Isaiah 33:2

LORD be gracious to us, we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.
 

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