why I still believe in marriage
I won’t bombard you with the statistics on divorce or marriage. I won’t give you an outline of a sermon. I am sharing with you why I, in my own opinion, I believe in marriage.
So often I hear how marriage doesn’t work, it’s a man made system, it’s a waste of time, or there are no good men / women out there. I run into children who have no working concept of love and how it works repeating what they hear and how they won’t get married because ---- I won’t take time to list the juvenile answers.
I have always taken relationships seriously. I am product of a great and healthy marriage and yes that has an impact on my belief in marriage. Yes I am follower of Jesus and that shapes my belief in marriage. I have also seen marriage done poorly. I have been approached by married men some I knew were married and other I wasn’t aware. (Ya’ll I am not side chick material.) I don’t know what I did to give them the impression I was to disrespect the vow they made to their spouse. That has made me turn my head side ways at marriage which is strange because marriage didn't make them cheat on their wives. That was a heart issue they had before they marched down that aisle. In the same way marriage doesn't make you an excellent wife or husband. My father was an amazing man but he didn't turn into the man I knew when he made that vow. He was developed in those 32 years of marriage.
I don’t believe it’s for everyone. I don't believe it is for the entitled, the selfish, the lonely. Hear me out, we all have these character traits. I chose these three specifically. I have heard many people married and non try to convince me of their point of view and these 3 traits stuck out the most as I listened. Thinking that I deserve this and I am entitled to all of these things and marriage will also cure this loneliness. That is a recipe for disaster and I rarely hear people tell take blame for what they did to allow their marriage to fail or be in the condition that it is. Instead they blame the fact they did not receive what they were entitled to. I view marriage the way I view family. You do what it takes and losing that person is not an option. We all have that family member that takes us on a rollercoaster. Some days we wish we could replace them and other days we love them so much we couldn't bare life without them. At the end of the say they are here to stay and it will be in everybody's benefit to make that relationship work. It's commitment, it's loyalty, it's the denial of self for somebody else. That is something that people just don't know how to do anymore. We are self absorbed and self consumed and unfortunately view marriage as a bullet point on out check that is finished at the alter,
I also don’t believe it is something you could ever be ready for. It’s one of those ready or not whatever it takes type of things.
But I am here to tell you why I believe in it.
I believe in marriage because it is not some magical place where fairy tales live. Marriage is not the happy ever after. It’s the union of 2 broken and flawed people. It is beautiful. It is commitment. It is messy. It is a revealer of hearts and a builder of character. It is not a well where the unsatisfied come to be filled it is where you go to empty yourself for the benefit of another. It is a place where you pour out sometimes to be left empty when the other is not pouring into you. It is a place that shows the realities of love that God and HIM alone know how to love and do it accurately. The funny part is even with God loving us we are hurt, we are wounded love is not a place absent of pain it is what remains in spite of.
And I know, I know. What do I know of marriage right? I know I am tired of seeing it disrespected by those married an un married. I know it is sacred and ordained of God. I know there is no amount of heart break that can destroy my image of it. I wont allow hurt and bitter people to drag it through the dirt because their fairytale was ruined by reality. I have seen the messiness of it, the good the bad and the ugly. I still believe in marriage because I believe that people, though we are broken and flawed we are still covered by the grace of a beautiful God who makes all things possible. Even a commitment filled and loyalty driven union built in love who is our GOD.