I find myself talking to God more these days. I see Him softening those hard edges I once took pride in. I am discovering the courage of being soft and gentle in a world of hardened hearts. I am experiencing the strength in humility and dismounting from my high horse to see myself for what I really am. The only special thing about me is the grace that God so generously pours over my time here on earth. Evil are the days so I fight for joy. I embrace the softening of self. I feel. All of it no matter the depth of the hurt. There is no glory in claiming to have no feelings or not caring. Give it time, let it matter. Be bold enough to care.
Give it time, let it matter. Be bold enough to care.
Pride is a deception that causes more harm to you than anyone else involved. The complexities of how we are created are deserving of awe. I will strive to give no room to fear. I will embrace what it means to be human, to be a woman, to live in relationship with others. I will give my self-time to hurt, to feel, to heal, grow and change. Years spent behind walls in order to protect me from hurt or being treated wrongly made me blind to the beauty in humanity. I am not striving for perfection but I am putting in the effort to grow. Now as beautiful as the overall process is - it definitely isn't glamorous. It involves more hurt feelings. Facing insecurities and bad habits from past decisions. Just because you decided to mature and walk differently doesn't mean your habits have received the memo. In the end, I will wake up and face woman of virtue in my mirror and it would have been worth it.