REPOTTED

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REPOTTED

"Buy small, grow strong." 

I was told the importance of being knowledgable in the care of the plants I choose, water and light are not one size fits all, some require more and some less as you know this is no longer about plants. Know you and know what you need. Know those you love and know that they need. 

Sometimes we can be so eager for growth and change that we neglect what is needed, we make changes that we think will create growth, life is full of situations that will force us to face the areas where we need to grow. Give it time don't rush the processes you might be in the position that is needed for you at this time.

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Past The Post

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Past The Post

Isn’t ironic how many contradictory emotions can sit inside of you simultaneously. How you can be in the prime of your passions, relationships, career and still there is no success heavy enough to smoother the pit in your stomach. It’s right here past our social media post where humanity happens. The brokenness is equally important as our capacity for joy and love. The pain is just as common as a contagious smile. We persuade people to believe that their emotional roller coasters are not normal in our attempt to be "normal" we traumatize our own minds because God forbid we be deemed "TOO EMOTIONAL" "TOO MUCH" "DRAMATIC" sound familiar?  SO our panic attacks go unnamed and un handled. 

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why I still believe in marriage

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why I still believe in marriage

I believe in marriage because it is not some magical place where fairy tales live. Marriage is not the happy ever after. It’s the union of 2 broken and flawed people. It is beautiful. It is commitment. It is messy. It is a revealer of hearts and a builder of character. It is not a well where the unsatisfied come to be filled it is where you go to empty yourself for the benefit of another. It is a place where you pour out sometimes to be left empty when the other is not pouring into you. It is a place that shows the realities of love that God and HIM alone know how to love and do it accurately.

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What's on your playlist?

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What's on your playlist?

I think music has a way of communicating the things that we struggle to say but we feel and experience perfectly. Here are a few songs that I believe most accurately articulate how I have felt, how I feel. I know growing up in the church everybody has their opinion music that is written for God and by His people but I think some of God's people need to write about human  experiences. Show me your playlist and I can listen to your hear. 

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believe in your vision

believe in your vision

       Everybody can’t see your vision and it isn’t your job to simplify it for them. And the way to achieve them may not be traditional, easy, or obvious. You DEFINiTELY  don’t have to go about it in the same way that everybody else has. Believe in your vision. Commit to your vision. See it through. 

Book Worm

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Book Worm

A fun list of at least 50 books that I own, working on my mini library. What should I add to the list? 

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your worth is non negotiable

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your worth is non negotiable

In the words of Ms. Hill "respect is just the minimum" that includes what you give to yourself. I had to come to the realization that the only way that I would be ready for anything in my life, be it an opportunity, or a relationship  I had to first understand and uphold the value that was already bestowed upon me as an image bearer of God. No matter the mistakes, the flaws, the sins or the awful decisions that I have ever made, I have a value that cannot be tampered with even by my own hands.  The thought that I am too much or not enough is FOOLERY it is BAFOONERY (that's a new word, think I'll use it more often.)  

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Social Media Trends I don't get

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Social Media Trends I don't get

 

I am a fan of social media and with anything, wisdom is always a necessity. These are just things I am curious about, don’t take it too seriously ;)  
I also find it interesting how certain people receive a pass because of relationship or let’s be honest if we are attracted to them or not it’s human nature don’t act shocked. 
Anyways here is my list of Social Media Pet Peeves and Obsessions 

OBSESSIONS 

1. Those minute long clips of random awesomeness Animal videos - Blowing glass- hilarious clips - I lose sleep over these videos and I end up working on projects during odd hours of the night and I blame these videos OMG my personal fave is the panda

 

2. Ideas - from cooking (I have like a million videos saved and I've tried like 5 things but hey, what's the rush the only mouth I'm feeding is mine HA!) 

 

3. Positivity - I looooove how people are trying to spread love and good vibes around in the world that we live in. I am all for social justice and bringing awareness where it needs to be but I believe balance is needed. 

 

4. keep in touch or just being nosey in friends lives . . . yea strangers too 

5. It's great for business 

6 it is so easy to block out the noise or things you'd rather not see -  I just click see less of (insert name)'s post and voila peace on the timeline 

PET PEEVES 

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1.    The assumption that because I put it on social media I want to know if you disagree with me and why  - nope just posting to post sometimes
2.    When you like a ridiculous amount of my pics in a row are you expecting a response? Like fa real? 
3.    I am still trying to figure out how I feel about DM’s I mean I have benefited from it in a professional sense but I also don’t like how easily accessible it makes me. It’s like everybody and their momma has my number now. 
4.    You don’t know me. I don’t care how frequently I post, I transparent I am in my post, that does not create this relationship between us. I believe some people feel that way and they believe they have the freedom to make certain comments and send messages and wonder why they aren’t well received. Delivery matters.  
5.    Some of ya’ll are really mean. Like the captions and comments, I’ve read on other peoples post and celebrities and strangers. Talk about sticks and stones. 
6.    When people comment under pictures and post and it has nothing to do with the post. Now this is normally like that Aunty who isn’t tech savvy
7.    Is it just me or does it seem like friend request come by the dozens? Why is this? How is this?
8.    Ohhhh and there is nothing like a hater who takes the time to read or watch the whole post and then writes an essay on how they feel about it heheheh
9.    Now you won’t catch me in a comment sections snare but I will read those things like a novel whose with me ???? 
11. okay the last one, I think --- but when you're all excited to stalk somebody's page and they are all secretive about heir life B0OOOOOO  I am also the worst Social Media Stalker ever I feel like they know I am on their page so I will last like 10 seconds and punk out. 

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I love social media and the world that it has opened to us. Use it wisely and don’t take yourself so seriously. If you need take a break when you need one. Don't fall into the trap of comparison we are all a mess anyways. 

What are your loves and hates of the social media world?

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2017

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2017

I experienced the magic of gratefulness.  I saw the fruitfulness of trials and hardships. I learned the value in someones' presence over words to ease the awkwardness of a painfilled silence. I learned how to care and embrace all those emotions I locked away because sensitivity is looked at as a disease instead of being human. I learned to be human at all times and to remind others that humanity is something that we all have in common and none of us have this figured out and that is perfectly fine. 

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Coffins and Gardens

death has sat at our table

made his home here 

blooming into an odd decor  

morning comes with no mercy  

beckoning us to meet the day  

grief buffer me subtle

thorns of  ache in the joy  

my heart speaks up more these days

or the pride took her seat and I can hear clearer

worship turned medicinal

isn’t it funny how the requirement of God seem to be a 2 way street

where both travelers are satisfied in the end

death may have lingered in this family more than usual

but it seems here in this heart break that smells more coffin than garden

I have found an appreciate for life

Bold enough to be Gentle

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Bold enough to be Gentle

There is no glory in claiming to have no feelings or not caring. Give it time, let it matter. Be bold enough to care. Pride is a deception that causes more harm to you than anyone else involved. 

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Table for One

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Table for One

Now I have always been a loner by default. It wasn’t an intentional thing either, it just happened. I didn’t fit in and changing and going with the crowd took entirely too much effort and it went against every bone in body, so I ended up alone. Still it took me years to get to a place where I was able to confidently and comfortably do things by myself.

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daddy

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daddy

You went before a God who opened his palms at the sound of your knees before His throne

Were you aware that you were rare?

There aren't many men like you these days 

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Pastor's Daughter

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Pastor's Daughter

Let's be clear I love the Lord, and His church is not always a proper representation of who He is. I grew up in the church watching my parents pastor a congregation and they were the good kind. Ya know the kind who don't steal your money or don't care about what is being taught. They visited the members, went to their kids soccer games, cried with them at the pains of life, prayed for them by name, I told you they were the good kind. Still that life has solidified a few things for me. 1 Pastor's wife  is a calling ! And I don't want it. I don't have it !!! lol I'm serious though. If that person is you I applaud you !! 2. I love the the Lord and I will follow Him all the days of my life. My mother is amazing and sometimes ppeople think I am a younger version of her. She is modest, gentle and soft spoken (at times). 

If you are looking for your typical church girl SHE AIN'T HERE !!! Who you will find is a wild child, who loves jokes and pushing boundaries and finds joy in ruffling feathers. She knows the word and lIves to please God and her conscious is clear. That is the church girl you will find here

~Pastor's Daughter ~

Somewhere between rebel and pastors wife

She is a run in first lady's stockings

Too much bible for the wild boys

Too much wild fire for the choir boys

Want to drown her in church hat

 

Swaddle her in fabric

Think that Cotton is holy died sanctified Guaranteed

But that smell like plantation gospel

She's the cracked pane in their stained glass

 

Daddy bred scriptures in her blood

Let me loosen up that tie boy

Redemption coming by holy fire 

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Single. 27. and Black.

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Single. 27. and Black.

I have reached a place where I am thankful for every failed relationship. I am not missing out on a thing. If this is coming off harsh that is not my intention, but I am tired. Tired of being blamed, pitied and judged for my choices in regards to my love life. Being told that I am taking too long or that I chase men away. But I lay down every single night with myself wake up every single morning and look my self back in the mirror and no body else. When I kneel in prayer it’s me and God and nobody else. He knows exactly what I need when I need it.

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Playlist

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Playlist

You can tell allot about a person by the music they listen to . . . or so I am told. This playlist defines me . . . to an extent. Make one of your own and share it with me. 

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FearLess

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FearLess

I am not saying that deciding to live a fearless life means you wont feel fear. I am saying do it anyway! Acknowledge it and push through it and eventually you will live with less fear than you use to and before you know it if fear still comes along for the ride it will be riding shot gun instead of you. I am learning that people also have big issue with fear and other people. We are literally all made of the same stuff, dirt why are we letting people intimidate us and cause us to deny ourselves our own dreams? Sounds crazy doesn’t it? Because it is. We can just go for it and JUMP and enjoy the adventure of figuring it all out as we go and learn things that can only be learned hands on with no experience.

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The Intimidating Woman

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The Intimidating Woman

You don’t smile. Your face looks mean. You are confident. You are really pretty. You seem stand offish. You’re passionate like reallllly passionate. You’re smart. You made me nervous. . . just a few of the things that follow up the you are intimidating conversation I find myself in many time. Or the classic “he likes you but he is intimidated by you”. . .

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14 reasons why I hate dating

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14 reasons why I hate dating

I hate dating probably as much as I hate oatmeal cookies. I have no idea what's going on half the time and I don't know how everybody else found out what was going on. Clearly I missed a memo or a book release or something. Anyways I hope you enjoy my fun 12 reasons why I am not fan of the dating game. 

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